What Are Your Values and Where did They Come From?

I have previously shared an alternative definition of ethics from the one dominant society has given us — that the ethics required of us in this time are those that guide us to see exactly what is uniquely ours to do in any given moment, actions that will support the generative, innovative wellness as well as the generative dying. Today, I invite us to consider what it means to be ethical and where this capacity comes from. 

Ethical behavior, we are told, is the application of the morals, principles and values we each hold. But where do we get our morals, our principles and our values? In a human society like the Western(ized) industrial cultures most of us live in, the values, morals and principles we grow up with are often presented to us as unassailable requirements for all good people, with no acknowledgement that we might ever feel or think differently.

In the last few decades this critical process of developing an intimate set of values that represent our unique way of belonging to and in The World has become even more fraught. In the current climate of rampant and proliferating orthodoxies and unrelenting cancel culture, our values, principles and morals are often as much a survival response to ensure we are not exiled or silenced as they are a unique expression of our particular experience of belonging, participation and responsibility. 

At the very least, in conformist-consumer societies, we are often discouraged to hold values, principles and morals that stray outside the narrow (and ever-narrowing) parameters of what is currently acceptable and expected. 

Then what, exactly, is ethical behavior and what are ethics? Are they the internal compass, unique to each of us, that supports us to engage in the continued unfolding story of The World as a generative, innovative participant? Or are they the set of rules that assures we will not stray too far from the acceptable (and expected) narrative – whatever that narrative is?

Let’s explore this terrain a bit more intimately, somatically. I’m going to invite you to think of a value you hold. But first, I invite you to close your eyes and take a few breaths right now. Don’t rush this. See if you can settle into your bones and your breath even just 3% more than you already are. 

Don’t rush this along. Take your time. Make room for the first value that comes to mind – without questioning it. What value did you think of? Say this word or phrase out loud two or three times, slowly. Spend a few moments envisioning what this value looks like in action. When was the last time you embodied this value in your own life? 

For example, if you chose honesty, what does it mean to be honest? As you define your value and contextualize it, see if you can visualize its roots. Where did this value come from? Who modeled it to you? Did you ever question this value for yourself, allowing it to be shaped to suit your intimate experience of yourself even more uniquely? Have you ever found yourself acting in ways that seemed to betray this value? 

Spend a moment or two replaying an experience where you believe you betrayed this value, giving yourself room to investigate whether you genuinely betrayed it or simply behaved in a way that embodied this value differently from those who taught it to you originally. No matter what you’ve come up with, notice how you feel in this moment. Without attributing a narrative to your sensations and emotions, simply make room to acknowledge and attune to them.

There is no right or wrong answer in this investigation. The lionshare of its benefit occurs simply in the attuned and embodied investigation itself. 

It is this sort of exploration that will occupy much of our time in Embodied Ethics, beginning in mid-January. 

For all those who find themselves in positions of power (and therefore responsibility), this course will provide us the courageous community and gentle guidance to identify the internal ethical structures (including the values, morals and principles) we all carry. Together we will examine whether they accurately reflect who we are and the world we currently live in and belong to. From here, no doubt, we will need to spend time dismantling and searching for those values, morals and principles that are required for this particular time of unraveling and possibility. Those that will specifically guide us to participate brilliantly, at a time when it couldn’t be more important that we do so.

If this conversation interests or excites you, please join us for a free webinar on Weds December 8th as we explore this terrain of our values and our ethical compass.

And of course, please join us for Embodied Ethics.